On 12th July 2019 I drove into Liverpool for my Go Higher assessment full of nervous anxiety and anticipation for what was to come. I had been encouraged by a friend to think about doing an Access to Higher Education course. I had no idea what it was. I googled the term and Go Higher popped up in my browser and I was hooked immediately. That discussion had not really been about using the course to go on to University, I had not even entertained that idea, it was much more about me doing something that was just for me, rebuilding my confidence and getting myself back out into the world.
So, here I was driving along through Toxteth, heading to the car park with an hour to spare when I got stuck behind the Orange March! Who knew they even existed in Liverpool? I was diverted and, in a panic, got completely lost. Parking up in a cul de sac I ‘phoned through to the office to explain the situation and convinced myself that was the end of that then. The admin team were great, calmed me down and told me that they would move me back to the afternoon session. Obstacle Number One overcome. I do not know what I was expecting but being told that there was to be a written maths exam was not on my radar. I have a real phobia of the word maths; it sends me into a tailspin if ever mentioned. I explained to the coordinator that I probably wouldn’t pass and why. He was amazing and calmed me down, as did the couple of people sitting on each side of me. We were all a little panicked about different things, but the staff all made it such an enjoyable and calming experience. I felt a real affinity with the lecturer that interviewed me. A few days later I received the letter congratulating me on being accepted onto the course.
By September I had connected with Paula who was also starting the course, she lived not far from me and so we decided that we would car share and go together for the induction week. I will not lie; it was probably one of the most intense weeks of my life for many reasons. The imposter syndrome set in immediately, the number of people at the first meeting was overwhelming, the schedule of work looked enormous, and the list goes on. What was great was that everybody made new friends, groups were formed, and those groups really encouraged each other from day one. By the end of the induction week a lot of people had dropped out. I had several wobbles, but the excitement of learning took over from the imposter syndrome. A few people threatened not to come back but, with encouragement from the tutors and their new friends they did return. The wobbles do not stop after the induction week, they come back time and time again, but you just have to remember why you want to do the course and talk to people for support.
By the time I had finished the course I had decided that I did want to go on to do a degree. I had decided part way through that I wanted to do a degree in Psychology and duly applied to three universities, including Liverpool, and was accepted by all. I had a change of mind and thought that I would prefer to do English. After speaking to Claire at Go Higher I realised that I could not apply for English at Liverpool as I hadn’t taken the English module on Go Higher. She suggested I consider Irish Studies. It was a perfect fit for me as a multi-disciplinary course incorporating History, Culture, Politics and Literature of Ireland. I applied and was accepted. It seems ironic that just a year earlier my chance to even do the Go Higher was almost scuppered by an Orange march! I was given so many fantastic opportunities as a student in the Institute of Irish Studies. I acted as both Student and Faculty representative; I was privileged to be selected as an Undergraduate Research Student for Prof Frank Shovlin and I completed a placement at the Museum of Liverpool where I worked on a project to update the Irish Trail and revamp the Information pamphlets.
My journey through university was not as straightforward as I had hoped it would be. Each year brought me ‘out of the ordinary’ personal challenges that affected my studies, but I persevered. It took me a little longer to complete my degree than I would have hoped but, with the fantastic support and encouragement from all of the academic staff in the Institute of Irish Studies I got there in the end. I graduated earning a BA (Hons) in Irish Studies, 2:1 and winning the George Huxley prize for best dissertation. I am so very proud of myself and will be forever grateful to all of the staff from Go Higher who inspired me, pushed me and helped me to find my way to university.
If I can give any advice to anybody thinking about doing Go Higher it would be to just put one foot in front of the other. Sign up and focus on the assessment day, cross each bridge as it comes, when you wobble, get back up and keep moving forward. Everybody suffers from Imposter Syndrome; everybody wants to give up at some point. When you graduate Go Higher and become an undergraduate, embrace being around the younger students, join in with as many societies as you can, really immerse yourself in the lectures and seminars, enjoy every moment. Mostly I would say, never give up on yourself because the staff will not give up on you.
Cheri Kelly.
