Category: motivation

  • School Advice that Will Probably Hurt Your Feelings

    School Advice that Will Probably Hurt Your Feelings

    By Katie Azevedo, M.Ed.

    Disclaimer: You might not like what you’re about to read. And I’m okay with that, because my goal is to make school easier for students, and sometimes that means facing reality and being open-minded to hearing hard things.

    If you put aside your feelings and take the following advice seriously, you’ll be so much better off than you are now.

    School, whether high school or college, isn’t supposed to be comfortable. It’s supposed to grow you. And growth almost always stings a little. (Or a lot, but you’ll be okay.)

    Below are six pieces of school advice that might hurt your feelings, but will absolutely make you a better, happier student.

    School Advice That Will Probably Hurt Your Feelings

    Please know that the following six pieces of school advice come from a place of love and care for all students, and also from over twenty years of teaching teenagers and young adults.

    1. If You Get Caught Cheating And You Cheated, Admit It

    Cheating is so dumb. Don’t do it. It will always come back to bite you. However, if for some reason you choose to cheat and you get caught, don’t lie about it. 

    The people who catch you cheating already know you cheated. No offense, but they’re likely a wee bit smarter than you. (Listen, I told you this post might hurt your feelings, and I was serious. But the reality is that if you’re a student and you get caught by a teacher, professor or administrator, they are smarter than you simply because they have more life experience.)

    You made a choice, and you have to own it. Teachers, professors, and even parents respect honesty, and even though you’ll still have to face the consequences of cheating, everything will be worse if you lie about it too. 

    Every second you spend defending a lie (that everyone knows is a lie) is time you could be using to fix what led you to cheat in the first place. 

    Plus, lying makes you look foolish. You might think people are buying your story, but oh, they’re not.

    2. If You Want Your Parents To Stop Nagging You, Prove They Don’t Have To

    You hate being nagged by your parents. Fair enough. But did you ever stop to think that they hate nagging you even more?

    I’m a parent of two teenagers, and trust me when I tell you that nagging them to do the things they’re supposed to do is the worst. The worst! But I’ll tell you what I always tell them: we wouldn’t have to nag you if you did the thing in the first place. 

    The reality is that nagging usually stops when your actions make it unnecessary. If you handle your responsibilities, meet your deadlines, do your homework and follow through on things you’re supposed to follow through on, your parents won’t nag you. It is LITERALLY that easy.

    Objectively, this is what “nagging” conversations sound like. Try to see the absurdity in this scenario without getting defensive:

    Parent: Did you do your homework?

    Student: I’m going to.

    Parent: (5 hours later) Did you do your homework yet?

    Student: Stop nagging me! You’re always nagging. I’ve got it. You don’t trust me.

    Parent: Fine.

    Parent: (next day): Ugh, you got a 0 for your missing assignment!

    Student: Seriously, you’re so mean.

    This conversation is so common. I also know that it causes a lot of stress in families, so I don’t mean to make light of a tense situation. But assuming there is no learning disability or mental health barrier, the solution to stop the nagging is to do things without needing to be nagged.

    3. Using AI To Do Your Thinking Is One Of The Dumbest Choices You Can Make

    I know AI isn’t going anywhere, and there’s little that schools can do to stop you from using it on your own time. But using AI to do your thinking for you is one of the absolute DUMMEST choices you could make. And the long-term impact of you doing that is worse than you can ever imagine.

    If you use AI to perform THINKING tasks (including writing, because writing IS thinking), you’re literally missing the entire point of school. In this post here, I argue that the point of school is only partially about the content – the real point is so much deeper than that.

    The whole point of school, especially high school,  is to learn how to do hard things when you don’t want to, how to think critically, and how to solve problems. When you pass these tasks off to AI, you’re denying yourself the single greatest opportunity to develop these skills … for what, a homework grade? An A on a paper you’re going to get absolutely nothing from because you didn’t write it?

    I’m not some stubborn, naive, anti-technology person who’s telling you to go back to writing essays with pencils on yellow paper. I’m actually a super technology geek (I can call myself that) who’s borderline obsessed with learning about AI. 

    But COME ON. You have to know deep down that every time you turn to AI to come up with an idea for an essay, solve a math problem, or even write your emails, you’re cheating yourself. I know you know that. 

    Every single time you turn to AI to do something that’s even mildly uncomfortable, you destroy your own thinking ability (proven in this study) and build the horrible habit of using AI for the next task…and the next…and the next. 

    Don’t you care? Actual question to you: Don’t you care about your future ability to THINK? Is “easy” now really worth sacrificing your creativity, uniqueness, and problem-solving powers for the rest of your life?

    4. You’re On Your Screen WAY Too Much, So When You Say You Don’t Have Time, You’re Lying (To Yourself)

    You do have time. You’re just spending it on your phone or on the wrong screens. And before you say you don’t, have you actually tracked or counted how much time you spend on your phone/screens (not including homework)? 

    Yes, you’ll occasionally have days when you legitimately don’t have time to get all your schoolwork done. These days can be stressful, but they’re not that common. If you face reality and do the math, you will see that you spend way more time on your phone than you think you do.

    Let’s say you have 45 minutes to work on a draft of an essay. If you sit down at the computer with no phone and absolutely no distractions, and you write your essay for 45 minutes, you could literally write pages of material. But if you have your phone next to you and distracting tabs open on your computer, you might be able to write a paragraph at most in the same 45 minutes. 

    Why on earth would you do this to yourself? 

    Put. The. Phone. Away. For the love of all things, put it away.

    5. If You Want To Be Taken Seriously, Do What You Say You’re Going To Do When You Say You’re Going To Do It

    Like it or not, people won’t take you seriously if you don’t do what you say you’re going to do, when you say you’re going to do it.

    There’s just something really … icky…about not delivering on your promises, no matter how small. It gives the impression of laziness, of arrogance, of not caring. And worse, it suggests that you’re not capable of doing the thing, even if you are.

    You have one reputation. Every choice you make, every word you say, and every single thing you do is a chance to build it or break it. Unfortunately, it doesn’t take much to break it, and the rough truth is that it’s hard (super hard!) to repair once you become a person who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do.

    That’s the definition of being reliable, and if you want people to take you seriously, you must be reliable. Whether it’s an assignment, a meeting, or a group project, people notice when you don’t deliver. And it’s not a good look.

    Of course, sometimes life happens and we’re unable to follow through on a promise, but when that happens, direct, early and honest communication is key. Don’t wait until the last minute to 

    6. Motivation is Irrelevant.

    To be fair, I’ll begin this final piece of school advice by admitting that things are definitely easier when you feel motivated. So in that sense, motivation isn’t completely irrelevant from the aspect of enjoying a task. 

    That said, far too many students overly depend on motivation and forget the importance of discipline. 

    Motivation is just a feeling, like happiness, sadness and anger. That means that just like other feelings, motivation is temporary and unreliable. Discipline, however, is reliable and powerful.

    Here’s what I’m really trying to say: your feelings about a task you’re expected to do shouldn’t have anything to do with whether or not you do it.

    Said differently: do what you’re expected to do, even if you don’t want to do it.

    Said a third way, just for emphasis: You can NOT want to do something and STILL DO IT.

    Top performing students know this. They may think an assignment is dumb, boring or pointless (and it might be), but they do it anyway. They don’t let their feelings stop them from taking action. They don’t wait for motivation to hit. They don’t let their “this assignment is pointless” thoughts have anything to do with completing the assignment.

    The ability to do things you don’t want to do is a sign of emotional regulation and maturity. If you’re not there yet, it’s okay, but the sooner you learn to manage your emotions, the easier school will be and the less drama you’ll experience around school work.

    Final School Advice for Students

    None of this school advice is meant to make you feel bad. It’s meant to gently wake you up to some of the realities of school that not many people talk about.

    My approach with SchoolHabits has always been to be compassionate and direct, as I believe that’s what students deserve. But the world doesn’t reward people who avoid discomfort, blame others, deny accountability or act disingenuously. It rewards people who do the exact opposite. Owning your actions, being reliable, and facing discomfort without drama are characteristics of top performers. That’s you.


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  • Benefits of staying motivated for college while still in high school

    Benefits of staying motivated for college while still in high school

    Staying Focused on College Goals: Strategies for Gifted and Driven Students

    Even the most gifted and talented students can occasionally be tempted to “drift” during the school year. In fact, bright students may be even more susceptible to losing focus when they lack sufficient academic challenge or stimulation. For this reason, it’s important for both parents and students to stay mindful of effective ways to remain focused on long-term goals—even when others may lose their way temporarily or, unfortunately, more permanently.

    Every school year brings its share of ups and downs, but the students who maintain consistent focus and motivation throughout high school are typically those who find themselves in the strongest position when it comes time to graduate and move on to the next stage of life.

    Fortunately, there are a number of proven strategies that can help students stay on track with their college preparation goals. Identifying which approaches work best for your student can pay major dividends throughout the high school experience.

    In this month’s newsletter, we’re sharing some of the top tips for helping students keep their eye on the “college ball” during their preparatory years. If you have specific questions—or would like more personalized guidance—please don’t hesitate to contact us. As college funding professionals and application experts, we are uniquely equipped to provide the details, planning, and strategies that can make a lasting difference for your family’s college journey.

    Tip 1: Focus on Specifics

    The details matter—and they’re different for everyone. Each student has unique strengths and weaknesses. For instance, one student might struggle to keep track of notes or materials from a particular class. A simple, specific strategy could be to organize and store all materials immediately after class. This small, targeted action eliminates the problem of misplaced notes.

    Another common challenge is procrastination—something almost all students face. Attaching specific actions to goals can help combat this tendency. For example, setting a rule to finish homework before engaging in social activities builds discipline, focus, and confidence when followed consistently.

    Tip 2: Stay Positive

    Attitude plays a major role in academic success. As Charles R. Swindoll wisely said, “Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” High school is full of challenges—whether it’s a difficult class, a tough teacher, or even illness—but how students respond to these obstacles can determine their ultimate success.

    Staying positive doesn’t mean ignoring difficulties; it means looking for the silver lining and learning from every experience. Maintaining an optimistic mindset helps students avoid getting bogged down by negativity that can drain motivation and focus.

    Tip 3: Prioritize, Prioritize, Prioritize!

    When faced with multiple tasks, most people instinctively tackle the easiest one first—but that isn’t always the smartest move. True prioritization means identifying which tasks matter most in relation to long-term goals.

    Easier classes might not require immediate attention, while more challenging subjects may need to come first. Taking time to evaluate which areas demand the most focus allows students to allocate their effort wisely and stay on course toward academic success.

    Tip 4: Swallow Pride—Ask for Help When Needed

    Admitting the need for help can be difficult, but it’s also a sign of maturity and self-awareness. When challenges arise, it’s crucial to seek assistance early before falling too far behind.

    Whether it’s asking a teacher for clarification, finding a tutor, or reaching out to peers for support, even small amounts of extra help can make a big difference in staying motivated and on track.

    Tip 5: Set SMART Goals

    Goal-setting is one of the most effective ways to stay motivated. A simple but powerful framework is to set SMART goals—those that are:

    • Specific – Clearly define what you want to accomplish.

    • Measurable – Track progress with concrete milestones.

    • Attainable – Set goals that are challenging but realistic.

    • Relevant – Focus on goals that directly support academic and personal success.

    • Timely – Establish deadlines to maintain accountability.

    For example, instead of vaguely resolving to “get better at math,” a SMART goal might be: “Raise my algebra grade from a B to an A by the end of the semester through weekly review sessions and regular practice.”

    Writing down goals, creating timelines, and revisiting them regularly keeps students on a clear and measurable path to achievement.

    Tip 6: Take Time to Reassess

    Even the best-laid plans encounter obstacles. That’s why it’s essential to periodically review goals and strategies to see what’s working—and what’s not.

    Regular reassessment allows for course corrections before small setbacks turn into major roadblocks. Adjusting plans as needed isn’t a sign of failure; it’s a smart, proactive approach that helps ensure steady progress toward success.

    Remember, assessment isn’t just a beginning-and-end exercise—it’s an ongoing process throughout the high school years, and one of the most powerful tools for long-term achievement.

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