Tag: Bitter

  • When life is bitter, don’t lose hope

    When life is bitter, don’t lose hope

    When life takes away your greatest support, it can feel as if the world is falling apart. For me, losing my father as a child was more than heartbreaking. It was a true test of strength. Yet in a world that often seemed bitter, the kindness of strangers and the power of personal dreams helped me rise above my sorrow and shape a future full of hope.

    My family and I live in the Eastern province of Rwanda. I was only five years old when one morning, my father packed his bag and left the house. He didn’t say where he was going and he never came back. Days turned into weeks, weeks into years, but there was no sign of him. No call. No letter. Nothing. 

    At first, I didn’t understand what was happening. I kept asking my mother, “When is Papa coming back?” But she would just smile sadly and say, “One day, maybe.”

    In her heart, she knew he was not coming back. 

    Life changed quickly after that. Without a father and without money, things became hard for the family. My mother, Catherine, had no job. She had never worked outside the home before. Now, she had to take care of me and my four siblings alone. 

    Struggling with little

    We had no house of our own. We moved from one place to another, staying with kind neighbors or sleeping in small, broken huts. During rainy nights, water would leak through the roof and we had to stay awake holding buckets. Sometimes, we didn’t even have enough food to eat. Many nights, we went to bed hungry. 

    My siblings were in high school at the time, but the family could not afford school fees anymore. One by one, they dropped out and stayed home. It was painful for me to watch them suffer. I loved them deeply and wanted a better life for all of them. 

    Despite everything, I stayed in school. My mother worked hard doing small jobs washing clothes, digging gardens or selling vegetables in the market. She never gave up. “You are our hope,” she would tell me. “Even if your father left, we must move forward.”

    I listened. I promised myself that no matter how hard life became, I would not give up. I wanted to finish school, go to university and one day help my family live a better life. 

    But it was not easy. 

    Help can come from surprising places.

    I often went to school with old shoes. I had no school bag only an old plastic bag to carry my books. I had no lunch and many times, I sat in class with an empty stomach. But still, I worked hard. I listened carefully, asked questions and always completed my homework, even if it meant studying by candlelight or by the dim light of a kerosene lamp. 

    Many teachers began to notice me. They saw that even though I had nothing, I had determination and a kind heart. One teacher gave me exercise books. Another helped pay part of my school fees. A neighbor who owned a small shop gave me a few snacks sometimes. A church group gave my mother food and clothes once in a while. 

    These acts of kindness kept me going. 

    I studied harder than anyone else and soon became the best performer in my class. Every year, I got top marks. My name was always on the honor list. At school, students looked up to me. But at home, things were still hard. My siblings had lost hope, but I kept believing in a better future. 

    After many years of struggle, I finally finished high school. I was the first in my family to do so. On the day I received my final results, my mother cried tears of joy. You did it, my son. You made me proud, she said, hugging me tightly.

    But my journey wasn’t over

    I had one more goal: to go to university. That meant more fees, laptop, more books, more challenges, but I didn’t stop. I applied for scholarships and after many rejections, I finally got accepted to a university with some financial support. 

    Now, I’m 22 years old. I’m in university, studying hard every day. I met with a kind person again, who gave me a place to sleep and dinner. Even though I have that support, I’m still facing challenges. I still lack proper shoes, clothes and transport money, but I keep going. My dream is to become a professional, get a good job first, then become self-employed and return home to support my mother and siblings. 

    I remind myself: “My father left us when I was just a child. We had no house, no food and no money. My siblings could not finish school. But I decided to fight. Kind people helped me and I stayed strong. Now I am at university. I will not stop until I help my family rise again.” 

    I hope my story will teach young people that even when life feels bitter and people let you down, you must not give up. Strength is not about having everything. It is about standing tall even when you have nothing. This is the reason why I’m writing my story. 

    Even when life is painful and people walk away from you, never lose hope. With hard work, faith and the help of kind people, you can still rise, succeed and help others do the same. 


    QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

    1. What was one thing the author promised himself when things got really hard for his family?

    2. In what ways did people help the author succeed?

    3. When have people helped you when you were having difficulty?

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  • Shifting From Bitter to Sweet: A Woman’s Health Goal

    Shifting From Bitter to Sweet: A Woman’s Health Goal

    The term “bittersweet” isn’t one typically associated with healthcare, but for many women today, their healthcare journeys are just that.

    Irene O. Aninye, Ph.D.

    Chief Science Officer, Society for Women’s Health Research (SWHR)

    A woman walks out of her doctor’s office. She sits down — in the lobby, in her car, on a bench — to process what she just heard. She thinks to herself, “They said I have…”

    Insert endometriosis or lupus or psoriatic arthritis or narcolepsy or persistent depressive disorder. This is just a short list of chronic health conditions for which many women experience significant delays in diagnosis, and often much longer delays than men. 

    She feels fearful. She feels confused. She feels overwhelmed. But, she also feels hope and relief, because today’s visit was different. After multiple trips to urgent care, months-long wait times to see different specialists, countless days that turned into years going to work while feeling unwell, and surmounting out-of-pocket costs for medications that were unable to manage her symptoms, today, she finally received an accurate diagnosis — a name to associate with her experience. Now there is hope for a pathway to improve not only her health but also her quality of life.

    The importance of women in research

    Many factors contribute to the diagnostic delays women experience, including insufficient research funding and prioritization of women’s health issues; historical exclusion of women from medical research; and societal norms and stigma that hinder access and engagement with the healthcare system. As such, preventive care and interventions that address the unique health needs of women are lacking. It is only since 1993, when public law established a precedent mandating the inclusion of women and minoritized populations in clinical research, that the tide for women’s health research began to systemically shift.

    Now, over 30 years later, many still fail to realize how essential women are to every corner of the healthcare ecosystem. Women are needed as investigators toward research discovery just as much as they must lead care delivery as healthcare providers. An often-minimized role for women in research, however, is their engagement as participants in clinical studies. Including women in research allows us to effectively study sex differences and learn more about diseases in both men and women alike. 

    Without the appropriate and safe inclusion of women in medical research, our medications, interventions, clinical guidelines, and basic understanding of human health are compromised, and we are left with persistent knowledge gaps and disparities in health outcomes between women and men. These disparities exist for disease prevalence, time to diagnosis, treatment efficacy, health span, and quality of life. For women of color, women living in rural communities, women at older ages, and pregnant populations, the unknowns about how to effectively diagnose and provide care are compounded in unacceptable proportions.

    We must improve

    We must include women in research and study sex differences to truly understand the nuances of health and disease. We must empower women to engage the healthcare system at all levels to ensure their best health. We must work with communities safely and transparently, sharing findings and solutions with those who participated in the research. We must eliminate the barriers women experience accessing quality and innovative care. We must continue to invest widely and often in women’s health research to sustain momentum in our progress.

    I’ll leave you with this: A clinical study that passively enrolls women does not necessarily meet the standard of inclusivity. If a woman’s participation is not recognized and sex differences are not appropriately reflected in the data analysis, the scientific and healthcare ecosystem will continue to lag. We all have to commit attention and care to valuably including women in research, for as long as it takes to close the knowledge gaps, eliminate diagnostic delays, and empower patients in their care. We have to prioritize resources to advance women’s health until the health of every person is improved. We do this work for ourselves, and we do this work for the woman walking into the doctor’s office right now.

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