Tag: Park

  • 50 Baseball Jokes That Hit It Out of the Park

    50 Baseball Jokes That Hit It Out of the Park

    Baseball, the all American sport, is also great for thinking about the multiple meanings of words and playing around with language. These baseball jokes can be incorporated into morning meeting, ELA, or even math to challenge students. Give them as many at-bats as you can with these 50 jokes!

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    General Baseball Jokes

    Why do baseball games take place at night?

    Because bats sleep during the day.

    Which superhero is the best at baseball?

    Batman.

    How much time did the baseball player spend in the library?

    Five minutes. It was a short stop.

    Why was Cinderella kicked off the baseball team?

    Because she ran away from the ball.

    What did the baseball glove say to the ball?

    Catch ya later!

    Why does a pitcher raise one leg when he throws the ball?

    If he raised both legs, he would fall down.

    What animal is best at baseball?

    A bat!

    Why were there cattle on the ball field?

    They were looking for the bull pen.

    What position does Dracula play on the baseball team? 

    Bat boy.

    Why is a baseball stadium hot after a game?

    Because all the fans have left.

    Where do catchers sit at lunch?

    Behind the plate.

    A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball was getting bigger and bigger.

    Then it hit him.

    Which takes longer: running from first to second base or from second to third base?

    From second to third base, because there is a short stop in the middle.

    Why did the pitcher bring string to the baseball game?

    He wanted to tie the score.

    How many baseball players does it take to change a light bulb?

    None. They’re too busy arguing the last call.

    Where do they keep the largest diamond in NYC?

    Yankee Stadium.

    What has 18 legs and catches flies?

    A baseball team.

    Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?

    Forget it—it went over your head.

    Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?

    Because someone stole second base.

    Did you hear the one about the fast pitch?

    Never mind, you missed it.

    Baseball Riddles

    What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?

    Pitching like no one has seen.

    A man leaves home, makes three left turns, and is on his way back home when he notices two men in masks waiting for him. Who are they?

    The catcher and the umpire.

    What goes all the way around the baseball field but never moves?

    A fence.

    What is the difference between a boy who is late for dinner and a baseball hit over the fence?

    One runs home and the other is a home run.

    Two baseball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single man from either team has touched a base. How can this be?

    The teams were all women.

    Baseball Wordplay Jokes

    What’s the difference between a pickpocket and an umpire?

    One steals watches and one watches steals.

    Where do coal diggers play baseball?

    In the miner leagues.

    When should baseball players wear armor?

    During knight games.

    What is a baseball player’s least favorite Star Wars movie?

    “The Umpire Strikes Back.”

    Why is Dodger Stadium the coolest place to be?

    It is full of fans.

    Where do you keep your mitt while driving?

    In the glove compartment.

    Which baseball player holds water?

    The pitcher.

    Which famous baseball player loved fireplaces?

    Mickey Mantle.

    How do baseball players keep in contact?

    They touch base every once in a while.

    Where does the baseball player go when he needs a new uniform?

    New Jersey.

    Why are frogs good baseball players?

    They are good at catching flies.

    What do baseball players eat on?

    Home plate.

    What do baseball players use to bake a cake?

    Mitts, Bundt pans, and batter.

    Where did the baseball player wash his socks?

    In the bleachers.

    Why can’t you play baseball on the savanna? 

    There are too many cheetahs.

    Which animated character is the best at baseball?

    Homer Simpson.

    What is a baseball player’s favorite thing about going to the park?

    The swings!

    Why are singers good at baseball?

    Because they have perfect pitch.

    What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?

    A double header.

    Why don’t matches play baseball?

    One strike and they’re out!

    Why did the baseball player shut down his website?

    He wasn’t getting any hits.

    How is baseball like baking?

    They both need a batter.

    Why is it smart to bring a baseball player when you go camping?

    He can pitch the tent.

    What’s a home run hitter’s favorite type of music?

    Swing.

    What do a great hitter and a boxer have in common?

    They are both sluggers.

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    Plus, check out these math jokes and puns to keep the laughs coming.

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  • College Park President Cleared of Plagiarism Claims

    College Park President Cleared of Plagiarism Claims

    University of Maryland, College Park

    University of Maryland College Park President Darryll Pines did not commit academic misconduct, an investigation determined, clearing him of plagiarism allegations that emerged last September.

    A joint investigation that involved both the campus and the University System of Maryland but was led by an outside law firm “found no evidence of misconduct on the part of President Pines,” according to an emailed announcement from College Park and system officials sent on Friday.

    Last fall, Pines was accused of lifting 1,500 words from a tutorial website for a 5,000-word paper that he co-authored in 2002, and of later reusing that same text for a 2006 publication, according to the initial allegations against him that first broke in The Daily Wire, a conservative website.

    Pines disputed the claims from the start, stating that they had no merit.

    However, Joshua Altmann, who wrote the text that Pines was accused of lifting, told Inside Higher Ed last year that “I do consider it to be plagiarism, and not worthy of an academic.”

    The investigation, which concluded after more than a year, included three rounds of external reviews and was extended to other articles Pines wrote. While it found no evidence of misconduct, investigators noted attribution errors in some works.

    “The committee did determine that the two works highlighted last year contained select portions of text previously published by another author in the introductory sections. In a separate text, a discrepancy in assignment of authorship was made. However, President Pines was not found responsible for the inclusion of such text in any of the three works, nor was he found responsible for scholarly misconduct of any kind,” College Park and system officials announced last week.

    Officials also expressed confidence in Pines’s leadership going forward.

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  • Shields Media Commons opens to expand multimedia access at University Park

    Shields Media Commons opens to expand multimedia access at University Park

    To meet the growing demand for multimedia services at the Pattee Library Media Commons, a new location has officially opened in Shields Building on Penn State’s University Park campus.

    The Penn State community is invited to an open house from 1 to 4 p.m. on Monday, Nov. 10, at the Shields Media Commons, 22 Shields Building.  Attendees may stop by anytime during the event to explore the new space and get hands-on with the technology. Interested participants can add the open house to their calendars from the TLT event page.

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